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These are my most vulnerable words. Upwelled with fierce intention. So I may stand here, before you, naked. These words come from the dark crevices of deep feelings, thoughts, and desires. With that, I invite you to crack your heart open and dive into the deep.
Mind searches for a clever anything
Plant vines spill over side of terracotta pot
Everything unfinished
No!
Some things unfinished
Constant change
Protection from eyes of my dolls
Darkness lurks from around the color
Preying minds, fuck you!
Blue clouds and aching body
Taste of cherry lips and chocolate tongue
An inclination for all to stop
As the human clock goes tick a tock
Darkness covers dreams with hope of mastery
Be the eye in the night
The awe that trips lightly on heart fluttered razor back
Test waters with only the crystal of clarity
Always knowing that the death of you is so near
Rip terror from the unknown and mask everything from no one
Truth dripping from vein of woman
Unite in raw flesh
Side by side a journey to the underworld
Make your self be known in the midnight hour
Our dreams painting silhouettes all the while answering questions we dare not ask
Unknown pricks the hands of time and washes the banks of tattered tears
Can you taste the burn but not let it consume?
I remember when I sold my soul to the devil and I remember when I was given the gift of life….again. On the day I signed the contract and left my innocence behind, I remember the darkness that filled the void. It was a rainy day and all it took was one sip of that liquid poison and I was hooked. My worth was slowly beaten out of me by the men I looked to for love. I remember when addiction ran through my veins so strong and the demons I had buried deep would creep into my conscious from time to time to keep me sick. I was spinning out of my mind, trying to grasp something that reminded me of who I once was. I remember that day when I hit rock bottom and I was left with nothing but the broken pieces of me. My body’s cries for help were more than I could endure and I was toying with death, feeling it closer and closer. I remember when I could not fight another fight and then I finally let go. I remember the day when I turned my back on the devil, burning the contract with the bottle. I remember I was so desperate to feel something, anything, and that day was the day when I let it all go and fell to the ground with nothing to break my fall. Laying there….bloody, broken, and beaten down. I remember the day when a stranger washed my wounds and helped me stand. With her soft presence she took my hand and led me to water. I will always remember this angel who saved my life with her kindness.
I feel called to be the calm in the storm. The Holder of tears. The humbled human that has learned forgiveness with much error and many a mistake. I feel called to quiet the mindless chatter that wants so badly to have a voice. To be the listener of whispers and the caretaker of dreams. I feel called to sit by the wise woman and bathe in her words. To always remain teachable and of the light. I feel called to beat the drum of the heart with integrity and trust. To rise with the dawn and sleep with the moon. I feel called to lead with magic and heal deep wounds. To be woman of many, not woman of one. I feel called to dance in silence and speak with action. To breathe compassion and journey with grace. I feel called to avoid the raw riptides of chaos by surrendering to deep soul love.
As I crawl out of my cave, I brush off the need for solitude and reach for you. Hear me howl at the moon sister wolf, join the pack, and claim yourself. As you look deep into my being, may I look deep into yours. I am you as you are me. We are one.
And in this transformative moment, may we extend our medicine wings and fly into the depths of our wildest self. Let us soar to the heavens above and dive to the darkness below. All the while embracing all that is with gentle loving support of the realm. Let us join in circle, exposing our raw human form, bathing naked in a puddle of our authentic tears. Spirit whispers to the soul “follow your heart” and the heart whispers “what is your souls deepest longing?”. May we use our breath, our life force, to awaken every cell of our being.
And here I stand. I stand in my vulnerability and in my power. I stand perfectly imperfect. I stand ready to stand for all of me and this life. I stand for the wild woman in each one of us.
And now I ask “Will you stand with me?”.
